Mean Daddy visits the Aquarium

Thursday and Friday are basically "free" days as we wait for the children's passports to be completed and mailed to the hotel. Like America, passports usually take a few weeks to receive, but CCAI has something worked out to get the adoption passports pushed through super quick.

Thursday we opted to join some of the other families for a trip to the city's aquarium. I must admit I was expecting something much less impressive, even when first arriving at the smallish, weathered building by bus. But once we stepped inside, I was greeted by a nice display of fish, lizards, turtles and arctic animals.

The first stop was finding a toilet for Seraphina as soon as we entered the building. As with any place you take a toddler, bathrooms are never as close as you need them to be. Communicating in a foreign language only added to this issue as this was not the kind of place expecting Americans to walk in the door.

Following our first mini-adventure, we settled in for walking around the various aquatic displays. Many were typical of any aquarium, but then we got to the koi pond. At least that's what the other families called it. To me, they looked more like the oversized goldfish I used to see at Carowinds. For 10¥ (about $1.50) you received a baby bottle with murky liquid in it. When you held it at water level, the fish would climb over each other to get a suck on the nipple. It was the best waste of money thus far as everyone enjoyed watching the kids feed the fish. The only bad part was when the "food" ran out and Na-na wanted more. Sorry kiddo, can't spend all my change on fish food.

Next up was the coral reef. The wall was low with a big sign that said not to put hands in the water. Well of course Sera wanted to try and grab one of the pretty things she was looking at. I pulled her back and mentioned the "look but don't touch" line. If you read a previous post, you'll recall that that is one of her dislikes. She immediately stomped back to the wall for a repeat try. Again I pulled her back with a more forceful "No" but that made her all the more assertive. On the third failed attempt, I hauled her up in my arms and left the display as I explained pointlessly in English that if she could not obey the rules, she would not be allowed to participate.

Na-na began crying and thrashing about in my arms. She was loudly expressing her disdain as we departed the immediate area. This is always fun in a public place back home. It's even more fun when in a foreign country where the locals understand what your child is screaming but you don't. I'm sure it had something to do with how I was an evil kidnapper mercilessly abusing this sweet, innocent girl. Whatevs. Mean Daddy was in full effect and there was no backing out now.

Eventually mom caught up with us and Sera gladly went in to her arms continually saying (presumably) bad things about me. Eventually she calmed down as a show was about to begin. They were playing American tunes until the show started and Sera began to dance to the music (MP4 via Dropbox). She sat with one of the other family's daughters who has become her "big sister" while in China.

It seemed we were friends again following the show and we continued to tour the 5-level aquarium including a long tunnel beneath stingrays and sharks, and another show, this time a love story between a mermaid and a scuba diver. It was all in Chinese, but I think the message had something to do with mermaids only liking humans who didn't harm the ocean's animals. She preferred men who danced with sea turtles and dogfish.

The next clash was when Sera noticed other kids with a light-up plastic porpoise hanging around their necks. I didn't need to understand Chinese to know she wanted one. Now. I'm not one for adding to the junk we already have, but I was willing to consider it if we happened to come across it as we exited the building. Of course we didn't which led to more fussing, or so I assume from her frustration and yapping. It was briefly allayed when she saw one of those vehicles you can sit on and move back and forth for some spare change. Mean Daddy was just below the surface though and decided there was no point to "rewarding" a complainer. We let her sit on the motionless contraption until it was time to go.

Just before we boarded the bus, a lady came up to her trying to sell some cheap trinket. She went nuts when I herded her on to the bus trinket-less. Mean Daddy makes a third appearance. While many of the other parents seemed to pamper (aka spoil) their new children, I saw no need to be different than I am around the house. There'll be great presents under the tree in a couple of weeks -- you can live without a plastic bauble that falls apart before we get back to the hotel (I know this because it happened for one of the other kids).

Sera feeds a sea turtle

You might think our return to the hotel meant things would get back to normal (or as normal as can be in a hotel in China). You would be incorrect.

Upon our return we opted for a trip to Pizza Hut for lunch. We ordered two Pepsis and I planned to share mine with Sera. I poured her some in a small glass and handed it to her. She indicated she wanted a straw like her "big sister" had across the table. I refused since her glass was too small for a straw and I pictured a mess if she tried to use it. She once again became indignant about not getting what she wanted which (of course) pissed me off as well. After she pushed the soda away a couple times out of frustration, I poured the soda back into my glass leaving her with nothing. I assume anyone reading this can figure out how that played out.

More wailing and gnashing of teeth. I could tell our friends at the table were uncomfortable. I could see that the patrons around us were astonished. The wait staff must have been nervous as one young woman brought over an activity sheet to try to console the child having a complete melt down while her dad completely ignored her (or at least appeared to on the outside). Eventually I would pour soda back into her glass but the straw was never to be part of the deal. Mean Daddy strikes again.

Somewhat surprisingly, Sera was back on good terms with fun daddy by the end of the meal, laughing as she covered me in stickers from the activity sheet she received earlier. Back in the hotel she was all giggles and interested in "rough-housing" with dad in the hotel room. Until 4:30 when one parent had to meet in the hallway to review paperwork.

I went alone to take care of this chore assuming Sera would prefer Angela to me for an extended period, especially after how the rest of the day had gone. After about 5 minutes, Angela came out with Sera and indicated our daughter was calling for me and thought we should switch roles. Seriously? I have 3 kids at home and I know how this game plays out, but whatevs. Mean Daddy was being signaled for and Mean Daddy would answer the call.

As soon as I picked up Na-na to take her to the hotel room so Angela could review work alone as instructed, she began protesting. I ignored the pleas as we entered our room as closed the door behind us. Sera, ever the obstinate one, made to open the door and return to the hallway.

Mean Daddy: "Sorry, not going to happen."
Seraphina: "If you refuse, I'll scream bloody murder."
Mean Daddy: "Go for it. I'm not wearing my hearing aids anyway."
Seraphina: "Three. Two. One."

What came next was the mother of all tantrums. If there had been a priest nearby, I may have requested an exorcism. As it was, I felt that acknowledging the outburst would only endorse it so I ceremoniously ignored her by reading a Curious George book to myself as she flailed, kicked the bed, tore up hotel signage, and screamed her displeasure. Occasionally she would calm down long enough to catch her breath or wipe snot bubbles on her sleeve. At one point I left an opening and she made her way for the door again. I mentioned that was not an option knowing that even if she understood English she would have ignored me. When her hand touched the doorknob, I scooped her up and returned her to her "prison" -- between the two beds with me sitting at the end blocking the exit. Wailing and gnashing of teeth continued. For the better part of an hour there was no silence except when she was inhaling to unleash her fury again. Mean Daddy was heroic (at least in his mind) as he ignored all attempts to be demolished by the awesome forces of one toddler's special power -- the Terror Tantrum.

When Angela finally wrapped up what she needed to get done, she returned to the carnage of the aftermath. I removed myself as "barrier" so that Sera could finally get to her savior and begin recounting all the horrific details. It was one time I truly wish I could understand what she was saying as I'm sure it was juicy. Angela listened patiently and nodded every now and then in mock agreement. At one point Na-na went to open the door to the hallway on her own and Angela refused egress. Mean Daddy's sidekick, Staunch Mama, performed gloriously in support of the superhero! Finally, after some cool off time for both parties, mom took daughter into the hallway for some time apart with the other kids in the group.

By evening, Sera would be rough housing with "baba" (daddy) again as if nothing ever happened. But Mean Daddy had made his appearance and (hopefully) established that there will be limits in the Smith household as well as a separation of rights for children and adults. All my children have had the opportunity to meet Mean Daddy, but the three older ones know how simple it is to keep from meeting him often -- don't overstep the clearly defined bounds. I'm sure Seraphina will learn just as quickly.

It's all good. Fun Daddy is in the house Friday (today). Saturday morning we get up bright and early for our flight to Guangzhou where we take care of all the American paperwork to bring Sera home to America. One more week of hotel living -- pray for us!